Radical progressives are promoting a national Festival of Complaints & Questions
(FOCQ) to culminate in a conference to be held at the Washington Monument…where a
select group of renown progressive favorites will announce their top five complaints.
The featured Complainers will include Ralph Nader, Noam Chomsky, Michael Moore, Keith Oberman, Amy Goodman, and Thom Hartmann to list only a few!
The whole event is to focus on major Complaints and Questions that Leftists have been
asking for some 50 years and more. The point of the event is to crystallize the most
common complaints and questions and then determine if progressives want to take their
complaints and questions to the next ʻlevelʼ, i.e. ʻactually doing somethingʼ.
All of the invited speakers promote themselves through their own personal web sites, book tours, and films. This festival will be an opportunity to feign an organized progressive movement.
Talk in progressive circles is that complaining and questioning are wonderful activities in
and of themselves but that ʻrealʼ actions are just not that much fun. One organizer put it best when he said, “Iʼm Jewish and complaining is a rite of passage in my culture.”
Another participant chimed in that he liked to ʻquestion authorityʼ which, he declared,
ʻempoweredʼ him. When asked what to be empowered meant, he proudly displayed the
T-Shirt and bumper sticker he had recently bought.
Others point to the Wall Street protests of a few years ago, the ʻOccupy Movementʼ
which spread throughout the country and was responsible for much yelling, screaming,
chanting, drumming, singing and such. The creation of the ʻhumanʼ microphone during
this protest was probably the most significant success story in recent progressive
history (that, and hand signals for ʻyes, no & maybeʼ…not to mention, selecting the
ʻgender you most identify withʼ).
The Occupy Movementʼs genius was to move the progressive movement forward by
denying that organization, strategy, demands and an agenda were relevant or
important. Instead, positive vibrations and new-age thinking have revolutionized
progressive politics by focusing on elevating consciousness through experiential means
especially via music and art. Ultimately, the goal is to make everybody ʻfeelʼ that they
have accomplished something before they return to work or college.
This is what is termed protest as therapy. When you protest, you feel good. And when
you feel good, all humankind benefits, somehow. And the benefits inspire real change.
No one quite understands why or how but many believe it to be true. They point to
quantum physics which posits that change could occur in another dimension closely
related to ours. Some progressives even think that this ʻdimensional-effectʼ (as they
refer to it) may help reincarnated souls in the astral world. Other radicals believe that
manifesting change can be accomplished through telekinesis and that ʻactionʼ is all but
an obsolete notion. Their focus is on ʻmanifested reality changeʼ utilizing the universal
Chomsky, Moore, Oberman and Goodman will be hawking their books and each will
have a signing where participants can pay just $50 for signed copy along with a T-Shirt,
bumper sticker, and a personalized coffee cup with the acronym FOCQ printed on one
side and a somewhat angry face on the other. The cups will come in several colors with
a wide selection of faces (representing the gender, ethnicity & sexual orientation) added for the personal touch. (Pre-orders can be made in advance so that those who can’t make the event can pretend they did).
Already, FOCQ has commitments from 100,000 persons who plan to get to Washington
using ʻany means necessaryʼ including cars, buses, planes, helicopters, boats, yachts,
bicycles with a few declaring they would canoe or kayak in from New York. Balloonists,
sky-divers and others planning to ʻdrop-inʼ might be subjected to destruction by the
Pentagonʼs missile defense system (all aerial fanatics are so forewarned that any
complaints about bias should be directed to the Pentagonʼs Q &A on their website
where all questions from radicals, progressives and other terrorists are taken seriously).
Participants are being asked for a donation of $25 to cover the expenses for Mr.
Oberman who demanded to be put up in a penthouse and to have personal assistants
to help him choose a wardrobe, cook his food, and provide him with a limousine driver.
The rest of the money will be directed to paying for security and covering lawsuits that it is anticipated will be filed by some of the more revengeful radical complainers.
Several famed bands and singers have already thought about committing to the festival
including the Crosby, Stills and Nash, Joan Baez, Paul Simon and Cher. But at this
time, there is no actual confirmation that any will show up. “It all depends on their
schedules,” said one spokesperson, noting that age also may be a factor. Some
younger bands have also promised to think about it. The theme of all songs performed
will be, of course, Complaints & Questions.
New-Age psychologists as well as Tarot Card Readers will be available for ʻinsightʼ
sessions to be offered to participants who can have their chakras examined and futures
distilled. Those suffering from CCD (compulsive complaining disorders) will have access
to shamans, green algae, or personal trainers to work with alleviating tension and
stress. Workshops on formulating complaints and clarifying questions will be offered
on a ʻneed-priorityʼ system under the aegis of an elite group of cosmic communicators to
be flown in from various UFO sites around the globe.
All those planning to attend are being asked to write down five complaints and five
questions which will be dropped into two giant jars to be created by a group of
progressive artists in time for the event. Mimes, dancers and actors will then enact
performances based on the complaint or question selected from the jars during the
week-long festival. Already, several dozen dance and acting groups have responded.
The national mime association has not been heard from as of yet.
Planners have developed a schedule of all events, presentations, speeches, etc. and
the information will be made available online at FOCQ.org. Special attention has
been given to the design of the site and other materials which will be emblazoned with
many different complaints and questions symbolic of progressive criticism from all over
Members of the progressive movement can go on online to the site and vote for their
favorite complaint and question. The most popular ones will be stenciled on banners
surrounding the Washington monument and choirs will chant these select choices in
polyphonic choruses at all events or performances.
Complaints and Questions about anything should be directed to National FOCQ
Headquarters. Contact FOCQ.org.